Mini Movie Reviews 5/18
I know I said I would return with a full review for KINGDOM OF HEAVEN but finals took a lot more out of me than I ever thought they would. I know it's been almost two weeks since it came out but here are mini reviews for the past few movies I've seen:
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN (Rated R for Strong Violence and Epic Warfare)
As you should know by my many posts on this movie I was really looking forward to seeing it. In recent years I have become a huge Ridley Scott (the director of KINGDOM) fan and loving his most recent movies HANNIBAL, BLACK HAWK DOWN, and MATCHSTICK MEN. So I was expecting to love this movie but I ended up only liking it. The movie is filled with an amazing atmosphere helped by beautiful cinematography and well-orchestrated battles. The major problems with the movie are the performances which are either boring, like Orlando Bloom's Balian, or we do not get enough of a particular character, like Liam Neeson's Godfrey or David Thewlis' Hospitaler. The movie also is trying to be way to PC with the only villains in the movie being blood thirsty Christians and treating the Muslims too well. Another thing that has to stop with these "sword and sandal" epics is the speeches that the main character gives to his troops; there are about 10 in KINGDOM.
Grade: B
CRASH (Rated R for language, sexual content and some violence)
This is a movie I've been anticipating ever since I saw the full trailer for it months ago. I really regret not mentioning it on the blog and letting the bigger "event" movies steal it's thunder. CRASH is one of the most provocative, intelligent, well acted, well written, well directed, and beautifully shot movies I've seen in a long time. It mainly deals with race in Los Angeles but it is much more complicated than that. Their are about a dozen characters who in the span of a couple days "crash" into each other and get into arguments, discussions, and fisticuffs that are initiated by fear of someone else based solely on skin color. No one in the movie is one dimensional with many of the less liked characters doing something amazing and our favorite characters doing something hypocritical and awful. It is really hard to review this movie but you must go see this movie, probably the best movie to come out this month.
Grade: A
THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY (Rated PG for thematic elements, action and mild language)
Not that I was really looking forward to this movie but with the cast involved with this movie I expected it to be at least good maybe even great. I have liked each one of the actors in many other projects but the main problem with this movie is not the actor’s fault it lies in the script. I have never read the book THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY but this movie thinks it is a lot funnier than it is and the fault lies solely on the director Garth Jennings. Movie adaptations of novels should make you want to read the novel because as everyone knows the movie is never as good as the book. The author of the book, Douglas Adams, wrote the original draft of the script and if this is what he wrote it does not make me even want to look at the novel. Besides thinking it is funnier than it actually is, the cast does a decent job with what they have and the special effects or okay.
Grade: C-
XXX: STATE OF THE UNION (Rated PG-13 for sequences of intense action violence and some language)
I know this movie looked really really bad and that anyone who comes to my blog wouldn’t see this movie anyway because of how bad it looked but you were all wrong. XXX: STATE OF THE UNION is actually one of the worst movies you will ever see. It’s not just really really bad, it is beyond awful and should be banned from movie theaters because I actually became stupider watching it. The director, Lee Tamahori, directed the worst of the recent James Bond movies (DIE ANOTHER DAY) so Sony must of wanted the sequel to the mediocre XXX to be even worse. All of the main cast members have done amazing work before and should really be embarrassed for even being at the premiere for this movie. DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE!
Grade: F
HOUSE OF WAX (Rated R for horror violence, some sexual content and language)
For some reason I have always had a soft spot for horror movies so if you usually hate horror movies than you will disagree with almost everything I’m going to say. HOUSE OF WAX is one of the best horror movies I’ve seen in a long time. This is a remake of a 1953 Vincent Price film but it is much more a copy of the TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE remake but is still well acted (yes even Paris Hilton does a decent job), beautifully shot and has great art direction. It differs from the usual horror formula by having more than one killer and one of them doesn’t wear a mask! I f you want to have an enjoyable time, see gorgeous people run and scream, and see Paris Hilton brutally murdered than check this out.
Grade: B
THE LONGEST YARD (Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual humor, violence, language and drug references)
Being one of the few people at the screening last night who hadn’t seen the original 1974 Burt Reynolds’ film, I went into THE LONGEST YARD expecting it to be a usual Adam Sandler live action cartoon. I was wrong. The movie is much more serious than you ever think it will be and also more violent but not in a funny way. Someone is murdered for crying out loud. There is not enough character development with any of the characters and the entire movie seems more like a comedy trying to be a something much more serious. The focus of the entire movie is about training for the game between the guards and the cons and the game itself. If the movie had been a little longer and gave us more time with the characters than it would’ve been good but it was not at all what I was expecting. Maybe when I see the original my opinion will change.
Grade: C
As you should know by my many posts on this movie I was really looking forward to seeing it. In recent years I have become a huge Ridley Scott (the director of KINGDOM) fan and loving his most recent movies HANNIBAL, BLACK HAWK DOWN, and MATCHSTICK MEN. So I was expecting to love this movie but I ended up only liking it. The movie is filled with an amazing atmosphere helped by beautiful cinematography and well-orchestrated battles. The major problems with the movie are the performances which are either boring, like Orlando Bloom's Balian, or we do not get enough of a particular character, like Liam Neeson's Godfrey or David Thewlis' Hospitaler. The movie also is trying to be way to PC with the only villains in the movie being blood thirsty Christians and treating the Muslims too well. Another thing that has to stop with these "sword and sandal" epics is the speeches that the main character gives to his troops; there are about 10 in KINGDOM.
Grade: B
This is a movie I've been anticipating ever since I saw the full trailer for it months ago. I really regret not mentioning it on the blog and letting the bigger "event" movies steal it's thunder. CRASH is one of the most provocative, intelligent, well acted, well written, well directed, and beautifully shot movies I've seen in a long time. It mainly deals with race in Los Angeles but it is much more complicated than that. Their are about a dozen characters who in the span of a couple days "crash" into each other and get into arguments, discussions, and fisticuffs that are initiated by fear of someone else based solely on skin color. No one in the movie is one dimensional with many of the less liked characters doing something amazing and our favorite characters doing something hypocritical and awful. It is really hard to review this movie but you must go see this movie, probably the best movie to come out this month.
Grade: A
Not that I was really looking forward to this movie but with the cast involved with this movie I expected it to be at least good maybe even great. I have liked each one of the actors in many other projects but the main problem with this movie is not the actor’s fault it lies in the script. I have never read the book THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY but this movie thinks it is a lot funnier than it is and the fault lies solely on the director Garth Jennings. Movie adaptations of novels should make you want to read the novel because as everyone knows the movie is never as good as the book. The author of the book, Douglas Adams, wrote the original draft of the script and if this is what he wrote it does not make me even want to look at the novel. Besides thinking it is funnier than it actually is, the cast does a decent job with what they have and the special effects or okay.
Grade: C-
I know this movie looked really really bad and that anyone who comes to my blog wouldn’t see this movie anyway because of how bad it looked but you were all wrong. XXX: STATE OF THE UNION is actually one of the worst movies you will ever see. It’s not just really really bad, it is beyond awful and should be banned from movie theaters because I actually became stupider watching it. The director, Lee Tamahori, directed the worst of the recent James Bond movies (DIE ANOTHER DAY) so Sony must of wanted the sequel to the mediocre XXX to be even worse. All of the main cast members have done amazing work before and should really be embarrassed for even being at the premiere for this movie. DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE!
Grade: F
For some reason I have always had a soft spot for horror movies so if you usually hate horror movies than you will disagree with almost everything I’m going to say. HOUSE OF WAX is one of the best horror movies I’ve seen in a long time. This is a remake of a 1953 Vincent Price film but it is much more a copy of the TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE remake but is still well acted (yes even Paris Hilton does a decent job), beautifully shot and has great art direction. It differs from the usual horror formula by having more than one killer and one of them doesn’t wear a mask! I f you want to have an enjoyable time, see gorgeous people run and scream, and see Paris Hilton brutally murdered than check this out.
Grade: B
Being one of the few people at the screening last night who hadn’t seen the original 1974 Burt Reynolds’ film, I went into THE LONGEST YARD expecting it to be a usual Adam Sandler live action cartoon. I was wrong. The movie is much more serious than you ever think it will be and also more violent but not in a funny way. Someone is murdered for crying out loud. There is not enough character development with any of the characters and the entire movie seems more like a comedy trying to be a something much more serious. The focus of the entire movie is about training for the game between the guards and the cons and the game itself. If the movie had been a little longer and gave us more time with the characters than it would’ve been good but it was not at all what I was expecting. Maybe when I see the original my opinion will change.
Grade: C
posted by Robert at 7:00 PM
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